This article is diverging from our topic of testimonies this month, because we are starting something new called “Ask the Team”. Here on The Heart of Teens, we want to be able to help you guys in your everyday struggles. Each month, we will be answering questions that we have gotten from our readers. At the end of this article, I have listed several different ways that you can get involved and send us questions. We would love to hear your questions and do our best to answer them biblically and from honest perspectives, from teens who have walked those roads and experienced those struggles. We promise to keep you anonymous if your question is chosen, but please send us your questions. Don’t be worried what we will think of you, or anything like that. We are here to help you and to be a light in the dark world, but we cannot help you without you guys talking to us. To use the cliché, “Help me help you.”
Our question for today is as follows:
“Hey guys, so last night I was asked a question about how we know who the real us is, if we feel like we change when we are with different people…?”
Our writers Christian and Elri will be discussing an answer to this question.
Who is the real me?
The easy answer to this question would be: you just know. Well, it isn’t quite that simple to answer, you don’t just instantly know the real you, do you? It can be a confusing thing because the way that you act and react, how you talk or behave is often different depending on the people that you are with. So to an observer it can seem like you are 2 or 3 or even 4 different people. With this in mind, how do you know which one of these people is your true self? Or is it even possible to know which one is your true self?
Examine yourself for a moment. Only you can feel what you feel and think what you think. Think of the different types of people that you hang around with. Do you feel like you become a different person with each group? I don’t believe so. You may seem different, but does your core self actually change? Look at it this way:
Does your personality change permanently or does it just become subdued or wild because of the people that you are with?
Do your likes and dislikes change or do you just pretend to like or agree with someone else’s likes or dislikes?
Do your passions or things that appeal to you suddenly become permanently altered? Do you suddenly hate them? Or do you just adapt to the people you are with or the area that you are in?
Does your way of thinking or doing things change completely? Or does it stay pretty much the same?
Hopefully this shows you that there is a difference between a change in behavior and a permanent change in you. So even if you act differently around different people the real you will stay the same inside. Exteriors are easier to change and quicker to be influenced, but the real you—the you inside—is slower to change. Now, it is absolutely possible for those around you to end up influencing who you are on the inside, but they will first shape your exterior actions. Sometimes, that is all that they will shape, but always be on-guard to make sure that they are influencing who you are inside for good and not evil.
This being said, you aren’t instantly going to know everything about yourself. However, as people we examine ourselves constantly. We analyze reactions, thoughts and feelings and through this self-examination we get to know ourselves. You might not be able to immediately answer a question like: “If you could only save 5 things from your room during a fire, what would they be?” but once you think about it for a while, you should get to an answer.
We do not instantly know ourselves. Over time and the changes in our circumstances, our behaviors and attitudes and maturity can and will change. You are going to learn about yourself. It is going to be a learning process, especially during these adolescent years.
So how do you know yourself?
- Through self-examination
- Through asking the people you trust about yourself
- By being honest with yourself
- Admitting to both the good stuff and the bad.
- Realising that we are unfinished master pieces (brought to completion on the day of Christ)
- Praying and knowing what God expects from you
Did the last 2 confuse you a little? Allow me to elaborate. Getting to know yourself and who you truly are is not going to be a pleasant realization. You are not perfect. We are all, every one of us sinners. We are all flawed. However, there is some good news in this. Once we are honest with ourselves about our flaws and failures, there is now room for improvement. We can begin to realize how much we need God and ask Him to help us change for the better.
I know that no human being is completely themselves without Christ in their lives. We were created and put here for Him. He knows us inside and out. He fills that hole inside of us that nothing else could ever fill. But once Christ starts to work in our hearts, we become more comfortable in ourselves and can start being the person that God intended for us to be. Why do I say this? Because God has made each one of us unique, and perfectly suited for a particular purpose. The talents and everything else that he has given us were given for a reason. We owe it to our creator to develop those talents or gifts and become ourselves fully.
Going back to the point that I made earlier, we do get influenced though. The people we spend time with can change our behavior and perceptions. They can’t change who we are, but they can change the way that we speak, the way we treat other people, how we react or even how we see ourselves. This can either be for better or for worse. So we have to be careful. Choose the people you spend time with wisely!
I pray that if you have wondered that same thing, it answers your question. Again, our team of writers are excited to hear from you and hear what challenges you are facing and what questions you have. You can contact us through several different ways:
– Comment on this post or any other “Ask the Team” post to come.
– Send us a message on Facebook
– E-mail us at [email protected]
We look forward to hearing from you!