About three years ago, I decided to take my own life.
I say that not to be dramatic or to draw attention to it. I have only told this to a few select people and so writing this article is a very, very difficult thing for me.
But I chose to write it because the world needs to know the healing that can be found in Christ and the sense of belonging that Christ can give. If there is one thing I have learned and been shown over the past few years, it is that throwing away your life is the most stupid, selfish decision you can possibly make.
Life is precious. It is sacred. We see this truth all throughout Scripture. Our topic this month is about the precious value of life and what we lose when we try to minimize that value in any way. Suicide is the epitome of the minimalization of life.
There are four things I think we need to see about suicide:
Suicide is Thievery
We do not always think about it in this way, but suicide is stealing the breath that God has given us. In fact, in any way that we minimalize the value of life, we are stealing from God.
Suicide is a Lie
Satan is working his absolute hardest to drag you away from God and to steal your life from Him. But it is all a lie. Satan whispers, “Just walk away from it all. End it and things will be better.” That’s a lie. It is 1000% a lie. If you take your life, nothing will be better. I do not know your situation, but I do know the feeling of hopelessness. I know what it feels like to want to end it all – the pain, the suffering, the temptations, and the trials.
I know that it seems like everyone around you wants you to give in and end your life. I know. But the answer isn’t listening to the Devil. The answer is getting back up, which can only happen through the power of Christ.
Suicide is the Most Selfish Thing You Could Ever Do
Part of the lie of suicide is that those around you will not notice (or even that they will be happy). I contend that no matter your situation, there will be someone in this world who will be crushed beyond your wildest imagination if you take your life. You may not see these people when Satan clouds your judgment, but trust me that they are there and that they truly love you.
Suicide is Not the Answer
You are at rock-bottom. Which sucks; it does. The good news is that from here, the only direction is up. The answer is not death. The answer is not giving in to temptation. The answer is found only in Christ. I have recently finished an American Literature college class in which we analyzed the literature of many different philosophical eras in America. In each one, when the writer is not a Christian, there is a persistent theme of hopelessness. Why is this? Because Jesus is the only hope in this world.
This article is not my typical, thought-out piece of writing. It’s not the most beautiful piece. It is an extremely raw outpouring of my heart. My heart aches for all you who look at your life and decide it’s not worth hanging on to. Because it’s not. Your life sucks and frankly, it’s not worth clinging to.
Cling to Christ.
Cling. To. Christ.
You’re not worth clinging to and neither is your life. But Christ is worth clinging to. He can save you and infuse your world with hope. He can lift you up from the dumps and set you on the mountaintop. Your life won’t remain on the mountaintop; in fact, it may take you many years of slowly rebuilding your life to get it to even a short glimpse of the mountaintop…but clinging to Christ is the only hope we have. And it’s not an easy road to walk.
It takes three things. It takes prayer, accountability, and Christ.
Pray without ceasing. That’s the command that Paul gives to the church in Thessalonica and I encourage you strongly to take it to heart. That way, when the bad times come and the depression sets in hard, you can cling to something more than yourself.
Find some people around you who you can text or call or hang out with if you start getting to a low point again. Surround yourself with people (even if you are an introvert), because you need to keep yourself safe.
Cling to Christ. That’s all I have to say on that. Check out Sovereign Grace Music’s song called “Cling to Christ”—it has become my anthem over the past year or so.
Three years ago, I decided to take my own life.
Three years ago, God rescued me from making the stupidest, most selfish decision ever.
Now, I am not perfect. I have hard times, I give in to temptation, and I still wrestle with depression.
But while I may let go of happiness or I may let go of other things when I stumble…I won’t let go of Christ.
Cling to Christ.