But I want… (Love Does Not Insist On Its Own Way)

I am going to have to ask you to bear with me here. This post is tough! It’s probably as hard for me to write as it is for you to read… if not harder, because if I don’t practice what I preach, I am being a hypocrite (and my best friend is going to be reading this post so that’s even scarier). This is not an easy read and it is not an easy topic, but it is important! So let’s do this thing!

So far in this series, we have done:

Love is patient

Love is kind

Love does not envy

Love does not boast

Love is not arrogant

Love is not rude

And now we get to me: Love does not insist on its own way

Hmmm… Even stating it makes me uncomfortable because I know that I have an issue in this area. Have any of you ever heard about this little thing called “bossiness” or “control issues”? Those two problems are not foreigners to my lifestyle. In fact, you can ask one of the other The Heart of Teens bloggers, they have probably (okay, they have definitely) experienced me being this way with them.

“Why is demanding our own way such a problem?” you may ask.  Well, real and true love is not self-focused, it is completely others focused. (I know we talk about loving ourselves, but this isn’t actually loving, we just don’t have a legitimate word to replace it with.) Love is all about what you do for the other person, so if you are demanding what you want then you are not loving.

Not demanding your own way can actually be one of the best ways to “silently” love someone. Don’t believe me? Well, how about we look at the following scenarios:

Friend: I think we should go to McDonalds for supper.

You: I was actually kind of hoping we could go to Burger King.

Friend: Okay, we’ll go there.

or

Friend: I think we should go to McDonalds for supper.

You: I was actually kind of hoping we could go to Burger King.

Friend: I don’t think you heard me, I think we should go to McDonalds for supper.

In which of these situations do you think you would feel loved (consciously, or subconsciously)? In the other situation, don’t you think you would feel a bit beaten down and not very good in general? So if it were in reverse, shouldn’t you behave the way you prefer to be treated to your friends?

The reality is this: love is sacrificial, love does not demand its own way. And when we realize that and implement it, our relationships should improve drastically.

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